I often wonder how I function. I mean, how many things have to be working simultaneously in my body at one particular time in order for me to have the very basic ability to function? It's overwhelming to think about living with three chronic diseases- asthma, Type 1 diabetes and severe endometriosis.
I suppose I'm feeling a bit nostalgic because I'm approaching the one-year mark of being diagnosed with diabetes and three years post excision surgery for my endometriosis. When someone asks me how I'm feeling, I'm grateful that (for the most part) I can honestly say, "Great!" But that doesn't take into account the fact that I'm continuously checking my blood glucose levels by stabbing my fingertips, injecting myself with the appropriate amount of insulin (as I so lovingly refer to as shooting myself up), the feeling of my airways constricting and robbing me of the ability to take a full breath, suffering from the indescribable and debilitating pain of fibroids and cysts, and monthly (sometimes more) menstrual pain to the point where I canNOT find comfort in any position whatsoever. Then there is the tremendous emotional burden of not being able to bear a child due to the complications of my endometriosis.
Going back to when anyone asks how I'm doing ... I could focus on what I just mentioned. "Well, I'm feeling overwhelmed, frightened, angry, hurt, confused." That list sounds awful to me. Yes, I certainly have moments and days when I feel all of those things. But, I CHOOSE not to let what is out of my control define me. I CHOOSE to feel “great!” Above all else, I CHOOSE happiness.